Replacing 'either/or' thinking with 'and' thinking provides a way to reduce the ill effects of adrenaline.
When it comes to crucial conversations, 'and' thinking makes a great deal of sense. As we find ourselves forgetting our original goal of candidly and honestly adding meaning to the pool and instead striving to look good, win, or achieve some other unhealthy objective, we need to ask ourselves, 'What do I really want?' Also, while it's true that sometimes we are caught in a genuine dilemma with only two bad options, most of the time we do have healthy alternatives. Our next change in heart comes with a change in motive. We need to examine our personal role in any problem we encounter. Our first change in heart comes from realizing that as much fun as it would be to fix other people, we need to work on ourselves first. In order to break away from silence and violence, we have to change our behavior.
